Get Out of the Rut - Episode # 17
Making the Impossible Possible
Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited you're here. I just turned 40 last week, so I'm a little bit extra excited. I feel a little bit more mature just now because, you know, I'm finally 40. I think I have been saying that I'm 40 for about five years now.
So it's not a big surprise. The age definitely does not create any drama in my mind. But it's interesting to me to, I feel so young and I am young, especially since I work with women typically older than me. I don't think I have any clients right now. I'm trying to think maybe, you know, one or two.
Actually, it doesn't come to mind that I have any clients younger than me. So it's kind of funny for me to think that, you know, I always thought that 40 I would be feeling old. And yes, I feel great. I love it. It's no drama at all. So anyways, I'm here very excited that I just celebrated my birthday.
For my birthday gift, my husband gifted me a four hour massage, like a four hour spa massage. And it's funny when I tell people that, like, what did you do for your birthday? He's like, oh, I was in a spa for four hours. And they're like, oh my gosh, were you sick of it at the end? Like, that sounds almost torturing.
And My answer is no. That is something from now on, it will be a birthday tradition for, hopefully, for the rest of my life. What a relaxing, great, you know, way to spend a special day. And, you know me, like, I love being with myself. So it was really fun to just spend this time and getting relaxed, right?
I am not the biggest self care kind of girl. That is not what I'm coaching on. I would never tell you to go get a massage or take a bubble bath. That is one of my, uh, how do I say this? I don't want to say problems, but, you know, something that, although I don't super teach it, so I don't feel like I'm out of integrity, but it's definitely not something that I could be proud of.
I am not the type of person who's constantly, like, putting that self care first, right? Just, I mean, when I say we are all perfect, what I really mean is that we are not robots. That is one of the things that make me perfect, that I know I'm not a robot, that self care is not my thing. And spending that much time by myself getting a massage, it was phenomenal. So I feel kind of proud of myself.
Anyways, that's my little review of, you know, what happened on my birthday. It was Very great. And I am excited to talk to you about this topic that I have today, impossible goals. And the reason why I chose this topic for today is because it's January, right?
January is the month where we are all setting goals. You're really thinking about the future, what we want to do. And It's also that time where you look at your life and you're setting goals and you really notice that you're stuck. You really notice that there's not much for you to look forward in this year.
I remember, I really do clearly remember, especially when like my twins were born. So I had these three little kids under two, and looking forward to that year, and really having nothing to expect for myself. I had the expectations of, well, maybe my son will start preschool, maybe my twins will be walking, maybe, or those things would happen, but nothing for me, like, oh, my life will be better because of this. Right, personally, or I will grow more than I have ever grown last, you know, this decade because of this. I didn't have that and not having it, the lack of that excitement in life really got me stuck in the rut.
So, December is when I really focus on revealing my past, to really focus on really writing down the story that I want to create for the past year, and even for the past 10 years. That's what I use my December for.
Now January comes and I have all this excitement, right, birthday month for me. And I really like seeing the whole year and see what is it possible for me to achieve? What can I get it for this year? So I love setting up impossible goals. I am happy to say that my very first impossible goal was completely finalized last year.
As soon as I finished certification that's when I first started thinking of impossible goals. That's when I learned about this concept of impossible goals. And I set this goal that at that time I was so out of proportion that people were laughing at me. And I would laugh with them, but my whole thing was, but wouldn't that be fun? Wouldn't that be cool? Right? And then we laughed at how ridiculous that goal was, especially as just starting out. And then fast forward a few years later. Last year I was able to see like, oh wow, look at that. My very first impossible goal now seems like it is just my day-to-day life. That's just what I do every day.
What a cool thing to know, right? What a cool thing to see. And if I have never set that goal and actually done the things and becoming the person who could have achieved the goal, I would never have it. Right? sO that's the idea of the impossible goals that I want to really discuss and talk to you today.
If you ever feel stuck, like you're just going through the motions without nothing really exciting happening or to look forward, right? This episode is for you. Impossible goals are more than just a big, scary, ambitious thing. They're really giving your life purpose, like truly stretching the imagination and transforming your identity.
We're going to talk why the impossible goals are so important. And then, we need to learn how to reframe the way you think about them. And how to use these impossible goals to step into the very best version of yourself.
And, of course, I will share some stories with you so you can really see how this works on, you know, the regular day to day life.
But first, let me ask you a question. Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a rut because nothing really excited you? I've been there. I told you just now. I have been in that situation where there was nothing I could look in my life that would bring any type of excitement. And I know that so many of my clients felt the same way when you were stuck it's usually because you don't have much to look forward to. Sure. You might set some small goals, right? Like what I see the most is let me declutter the house. Let me go to the gym once a week. Let me lose some pounds. But those goals are not very inspiring. Who's inspired to lose five pounds, right? It's not something that brings any type of excitement to your life.
It's just little tasks that you're using just to keep your brain busy. And also just to say that you do have those goals.
My main problem with those type of goals is that I call them the to do goals. Those are goals that you could just do it, right? It's nothing that stretches you. The main problem I have with those types of goals is that you use it against yourself. You will Not be focused on because who's focused on going to the gym once a week, right?
It's not inspiring that it's actually growing in stretching you. So what do you do? You don't achieve the goal and then you use that against yourself you like, oh man, I can't even lose five pounds What a piece of crap I am right? I can't even do that. Well, no, it's not the goal It's because it wasn't stretchy enough.
It wasn't Actually getting you excited to do something to transform to see what would it be different, right? Because let's be real. You fast for two days and you lost a couple pounds, right? It's nothing that exciting or fun or, you know, again, stretching you. Anyways, this is where the impossible goal comes in.
When you set an impossible goal, you are not just giving your brain something to do. You are really giving yourself some purpose. You are thinking about your life in this bigger way and you're asking what else is possible for me? Or What could I achieve if I dare to think or to dream even bigger?
That's what the Impossible Goals can be very, very helpful. Impossible Goals help you dream beyond what feels comfortable. They give you something exciting to work towards and remind you that life is about more than just completing those tasks.
I have one client that she felt very stuck in her career, right? When you look on paper, she was very successful but every day she felt more the same. It was just, you know, go to work, do some meetings, answer some emails, it repeated all over again. She wasn't excited about life anymore. when we start working together, she told me, I just want to feel excited about something again.
Like that was her main thing. She just needed to feel that excitement. So you're like, okay, let's do this impossible goal. Let's set up something that it's so big that will stretch you and really get you imagining what else would be possible for you. So she decided to launch her own business and it's something that was very different than what she was doing before. And she was so passionate about this little business of hers that she's like, okay, in two years, I want to surpass my income. And she set that goal. She was like, in two years, this is what I want to do.
That goal gave her reason to wake up in the morning. It actually gave her reasons to go to work every day. She was more excited. It wasn't something that she was going to work and feeling like it was taking away from the impossible goal. It was actually, let me go to work and let me do this really well so I don't have any problems to bring home with me.
And then I can focus on this business idea that she had that was so exciting to her.
See, that goal, it wasn't about whether she would make the money or not, or if she would achieve this goal in two years. It was really about giving her something to strive for and helping her think about her life in a bigger way, thinking what is possible, thinking what else could she achieve.
That's the main idea of the impossible goal.
But when you set an impossible goal, the first thing your brain says is what?
But what is the first question it asks you? The brain wants you to figure out the how. It's not that the how is a bad question, right? It's not a bad question. You do kind of want to know the how you're going to achieve a goal.
But if you're asking this question in the very beginning of the process, when you were first deciding what you want to go for, you might be asking the right question at the wrong time. It's too early in the process for you to know the how.
If you knew the how, if you knew what you had to do or how you would achieve, you would have already achieved that goal.
But here's the thing, the how often feels very overwhelming if you don't believe that a goal is even possible. So when you are setting an impossible goal, the first step before you know how you're going to achieve this, you need to start asking yourself the whole like what if questions, right? What if this happens?
What if I can make this happen? What if it's possible for me to achieve this big goal? What if I become the type of person who can achieve the goal? Then what? Right? What else would change in my life if I do achieve the goal? What if this goal is exactly what I need to move forward? Those are the what ifs that will start getting you motivated and get you excited about this goal.
And as you change the energy, you see the how brings you down, the how gets you stuck, right? The how makes it, well, it's impossible, so there's no how. The what ifs open up that possibility for you. So when I was talking to this client and she was like, the first thing that she was saying is like, Oh, but how?
I need to quit my job. I was like, well, you're not in the how just yet, right? The question is, what if? What if you could start this business? Then what? What if you already had all the skills that you needed to start? What if you could learn as you go, right? Maybe you don't have all the skills, but you can learn.
This shift helped her move from fear to possibility, right? It stopped getting this, uh, shutting her down with the how. It was just like, oh, what if this happens? Isn't that exciting? And that's the energy that we want to start any goal, any goal, especially an impossible goal. Here's the thing I tell you.
all the time. And I tell my client, all of my clients this same thing all the time. You can only grow to the edge of your imagination, right? It's almost like that ceiling that you have. Sometimes even I call it a fishbowl, but you can go, you can expand bigger than your imagination. That's all you can do.
When you set an impossible goal, you're not just working towards the goal itself. You're expanding your ability to dream bigger. You are stretching your imagination, opening up yourself for new possibilities. Think of someone trying to run a marathon. Like, this is an example that always gets to me.
At first, when you first hear that idea, it's like, what? run 26 plus miles. It's laughable. There's never gonna happen. That is literally impossible. But then you start to think it's like, but wait, what if it's possible? There are other people who run marathon. What if it's possible that I can do that too?
What if? And then you start to shift to the belief that it's possible. And then once you finish the marathon, right, when you train and you were able to do it, what is the next thing that you think of? It's what else can I do, right? Could I run an ultra marathon or could I help others train for their first race?
You see that the impossible goal starts to grow the imagination, the belief of what you're capable of achieving. You start to see that what you can do. It's not the max, right? But for a while, you think that that is because when you're just starting to think of an impossible goal, that specific impossible goal is the edge of your imagination.
If you could think a little bit bigger, you would have, right? But it's not until you achieve that little part that goal, and it becomes your day to day life that you're like, what else can I do? What else it's possible for me? And again, when I was talking to you in the very beginning of this podcast, that is what happened to me.
When I first finished certification, I wanted this thing that for me was so crazy. And now it's just what it is. That is just life. This is just what I wake up every day to do is to have this coaching business is to have, you know, the works that I do. You have the amount of clients that I have. That was my impossible goal.
But now we got to a point where, wait, I have this other level of impossible goal that I'm going for this year, right? There's a whole new level that in the very beginning, five years ago, it wouldn't even cross my mind that that was possible. So see how you see. Setting impossible goals and going for it, it just keeps on stretching the level of imagination that you have.
And that's a beautiful place to be, right? That is a great way for you to evolve as a human being, right? Evolving you to the whole new level of what you can be. Once we start believing that it's possible, like, it's still impossible, don't get me wrong, that is a very hard, crazy goal. But when you start believing in the possibility of that, then the question shifts from what if, to who.
Who do I need to become to make this goal a reality? Right? What habits, skills, beliefs would the future self have that I don't have just yet? And then you just start thinking about that person who could achieve the goal or the person who has achieved the goal. What does she do that is so different than me?
So let's just imagine if you're going to lose 40 pounds, let's say that your son is having a wedding six months from now and you really want to lose 40 pounds, right? You don't start with the, okay, how do I lose this weight right now, right? You want to start with, it's possible. I can lose the weight in 40 pounds.
It is possible. There are people who have lost 40 pounds in six months. So you know that it's possible. It might be impossible for you right now, right? But then when you start to shift it is possible, right? What if I lose this weight? What if I get to go to the wedding with the dress that I wanted to wear?
What if, and then you allow that to give you the excitement. From the excitement, you start to ask who do I need to be? Who do I need to become to lose this weight in six months? Maybe it's someone who prioritizes their health. Maybe you have, you know, better or mindful food choices. Maybe you're committed to moving your body every day.
Maybe you are even the type of person who enjoys the gym, right? Go figure. Some people do, but you start to focus on who you need to become. Not that, okay, I have to go to the gym three times a week, right? That's, that's not a goal that excites you. At least that's not excites me. But when I think of my future self and what this should do, and I really want my future self to enjoy the gym, that's like, is it possible that I would enjoy the gym?
Maybe it is. Maybe it is, maybe it's possible that I find some really good friends that will go there with me and we get to hang out and work out. Maybe I, see how it works. So now you're really focused on who do I need to become or, and then, right, and how can I become that person? What do I need to do now to become that person, you know, the person that does what I want to do.
Here's the key for this whole thing to work, for everything to work, and it's not just about. Setting goals, right? A lot of times we think that it's about, especially January, you sit down, you write some of the goals you want for the year, you even write some of the impossible goals. You might even do this work already, but you might already be doing these questions that I was telling you about, you know, the what ifs and then who do I need to become?
But here's the thing. If you just set a goal and you hope for the best, You will forget about this. You have to find a way to keep that goal in the forefront of your mind. It's something that you will be reminded on a, I dare say, the daily basis that you are working for something, that you are committed to that one thing.
It's not just about setting the goals. It's about evaluating your progress along the way. I want you to think of evaluation like a GPS. If you don't check it regularly, like if you're driving, you know, cross country or even, oh my gosh, even if you're driving to downtown. Boston, that I have driven so many times and I still use the GPS.
If I'm not there looking all the time, I will get some wrong direction. Not that that is a problem, but for the GPS to fully work in your favor, you kind of do need to keep on checking it all the time. You might find yourself Working hard, but heading to the wrong direction, right? You can keep on driving 40 miles an hour, but you're going to the wrong direction.
That doesn't really help. So with the impossible goals, what I want to invite you, and this is something I teach all of my clients to do, especially when we're working on goals. And I really do believe this is one of the most important things you can do to achieve your goals is a weekly evaluation meeting.
Now, I do teach my clients in the program this very. specific framework of how you do those meetings, how you hold that meeting with yourself. But pretty much, it's the evaluation that everyone knows about, right? For you to achieve any goal, like business goals or life goals, you do need to kind of keep on checking the GPS.
And simple questions that you ask in the evaluation session is what worked, what didn't work. What would you do differently, right? Or what do I need to do to adjust this goal?
By regularly evaluating your progress, you can stay on track, right? And not only stay on track, but you can pivot. whenever you need. That's what is so important. So don't ever set a goal and hope for the best.
I see a lot of my woo woo friends, my love attraction, friends and clients, where , they kind of have this idea that as soon as I put this to the universe, things will start working. And as much as I do believe that the universe conspire to help you, you need to do the work too. You need to be More proactive in understanding what is working and what is not working.
And when you do that on a weekly basis, you can pivot so much faster. So the idea of achieving the impossible goal, because guess what? If your impossible goal is to grow a coaching business. But you don't mark it, you have to ask the questions, like, what did you do this week? What didn't you do? And what would you do differently?
You need to know what you have to change because we need to adjust that path. And many, you know, many times it's not a goal for you. If you're not, I remember the podcast from last year, it was a big goal, and I really wanted to do it, but it was not a priority.
So I kept putting in my calendar that on Tuesday at 4 p. m. I record this podcast, and then on Thursday, and then on Friday, okay, Saturday is the day I record the podcast. And I didn't record it, it got to a point where I had to ask myself and say, wait a minute, is this still the goal? Is this what I want to do? And the answer was clearly no. That was not what I wanted to do.
So when I was clear with myself that that wasn't a priority, I was able to drop the whole judgment, right? It's not that I'm not good enough to record a podcast. It's just that I didn't want to, right? And many times with goals that you have, it's, okay, if every single year you're setting a goal to lose 20 pounds and you never lose it, right?
Sometimes you use these excuses like, oh yeah, my body just can't lose weight. Like it's, it's my body thing. It's like, sorry, honey, that is not true. You can. Right? But maybe, I don't know, you're overeating, or maybe you're emotionally eating, or maybe it's your hormones are a little bit out of whack, or maybe, I don't know, but there is something, because we can all achieve those goals.
I really fully believe if it is a goal that you have a deep desire, and we're evaluating and really being true to yourself and pivoting and adjusting, right, when you see that something is not working, there's no reason why you wouldn't achieve that goal. And that goes for Your body that goes for your health, that goes for your business.
If you, I see a lot of clients who are trying to create their coaching business and it's been five, 10 years and they still don't have any paying clients. It's something that you need to start, you know, just asking yourself, is this really what you want? Right? Is this the goal that you're pursuing or are you finding something else that it's really allowing you to relax and enjoy the process and enjoy the learning, right?
That you're not really creating the business. The main problem with that is that you use it against yourself, right? The answer to that question is that, oh, it's just that I'm not good enough. And I refuse. I actually do not coach any clients who comes to a coaching call saying that I'm not good enough.
You know, if you truly believe you're not good enough, you need a therapist. You don't need a life coach. True. I fully believe that that is the truth.
But also because not many of my clients actually think they're not good enough. So what is that? If that is not the answer, what is the actual answer?
Many times is that you're just not focused or you're not committed to the goal. And that's different. But with the impossible goal. It's really about this becoming that new person, right? Transforming your identity. And that's why you work so beautifully. The actual result of the goal is the least of your worries.
And again, because when you Finally become the type of person who can achieve the goal, that goal becomes inevitable. And I can't even tell you how, for me even right now, right, I just finished. And I would say like this last week around my birthday time, where I got to a point where, oh, you know what?
The impossible goal that I want is totally possible. And here's the plan to achieve it. Okay, so that's kind of the idea. When the impossible becomes possible, it's exciting for you to go for it, and it's exciting for you to sit down and see what is working, what is not working, and what can you shift so that, because you know, so it's not that, so that it becomes inevitable.
It's so that you already know that it is inevitable that you're going to achieve that goal. What do I need to shift right now? Okay, so that's the power of evaluation. I really invite you to do it on a weekly basis. So you can really sit down and look back to that week and reframe and, you know, how can you see that differently?
How can you speak about that differently? So it can propel you forward.
I would love to know from you, like, what is one impossible goal that you would love to set for yourself? What is it that it says a lot about you too, like, just think about this, when you are setting an impossible goal, what you're telling the world is that that is the edge of your imagination, right?
That is the max that you can think, that you deserve, or that it's possible for you. That is so exciting. And I see a lot of people like, Especially in the coaching industry, what I hear a lot is that, oh, I want a million dollars or I want a hundred K business, right? Those are the two numbers that I hear. I never hear a 500 K.
What is, I think it's a beautiful number. when in a coaching, okay, I want to be a million dollar coach. And it's like, oh, interesting that all of the goals in the world, right? All of the goals from the universe. That's the one that you want to pick. Isn't that interesting? No judgment, like, this is not a judgmental question at all.
But it's just fun. And I like to see, like, Elon Musk, his impossible goal is to colonize Mars. It's like, wait, what? What a crazy, right, thing for you to want. That is the impossible goal. And it's very fascinating to see how even he works to, I mean, he just became BFFs with the president of United States of America.
I don't know what their relationship is all about. And I don't care, but it's, Interesting, the pathways that he's finding to achieve his goal, right, his impossible goal, that's the level. And what is interesting is for people watching and again, love it or hate Elon Musk, I really don't have, you know, a strong opinion about this.
It's just it fascinates me to see how his brain works. The fascinating thing is that we know that that is the max that he can imagine. Right? And it's big, don't get me wrong. But also, for many people, we already believe that that is inevitable. Many people, and he probably does too, already believe that it's, that he is one person who is capable enough to do that.
And I find it fascinating to even talk about this kind of stuff. What is it for you? Can you set a goal that is so impossible, so crazy, so colonizing Mars kind of idea and then make it so it seems inevitable? for you to achieve that goal, where other people are looking around and say, Oh, yes, of course, she's going to achieve that goal.
There's is a no brainer, right? I have my business coach, her main goal right now is to make a million dollars. And she talks about this openly. And it's like, There's zero questions in my mind that she's going to achieve seven figure business. There's zero questions. It's so inevitable. Even though there's nothing telling us that that is the truth, but she believes so deeply and she's becoming that person who can have that type of business.
That is inevitable. Like, it's just a question of time. Now, does it really matter if that goal is going to be achieved this year or in three years from now? It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. That's what I'm telling you with the impossible goal. The actual point of the goal is not to achieve it or not, it's for you to become.
that person who can achieve the goal. So then the goal is absolutely inevitable. Anyways, I would love to hear your impossible goal. And, you know, of course I want to hear your take from this podcast. What have you learned? What has changed for you? I really want to cheer you on. So head over to Instagram or send me an email.
We'd love to hear from you and what you're thinking about the impossible goal. And again, if you're stuck in your life and you don't know where to start, you know that I'm here to help you, right? I'm more than happy to get you into my coaching program. It is absolutely designed to help you get out of this rut, right?
To set those inspiring goals and to create the life that you're excited for. Let's just recap what I talked about in this episode today. So first of all, impossible goals. It's not about the goal, it's really about helping you to think bigger, think about your life in a bigger way. And then when you set these goals, your brain will say, how, how are you going to do this, right?
Well, first of all, your brain says, it's impossible. And you're like, yes, genius. That's what it's called. It's an impossible goal. But as soon as you move on to that, it's like, okay, how are you going to achieve this? And you need to shift that to create a little more space for belief. You need to shift instead of how, what if.
And allow the what if to motivate you to start figuring it out, your actual focus. The focus is who do you need to become and not just what do I need to do. Right, but who you need to become to achieve that type of goal. And when you are already working on this I invite you with all my heart to regularly evaluate your process so that you can stay on track and you can adjust whenever it's needed.
Impossible goals is really not for you to achieve something extraordinary. It's about you becoming someone extraordinary. Anyways, thank you so much for being here today with me. I am so happy and I have been hearing more and more feedback on this podcast and gratitude, and it just. feels my heart when you say how much this is helping you.
It is my goal this year to post more of those podcasts to really be on the schedule, the weekly schedule. So you will be hearing more from me and I'm so grateful when I get to hear from you. So if you find this podcast, this episode helpful, I would love for you to share it with a friend. This helps so much.
Even leave a review. If you leave a review on Apple podcast, whatever you listen to, it helps other people get to know this podcast a little bit more too. So I really do appreciate and I read any review that you send, I will for sure go there and read it. This is it for today. I'm so grateful that you spent this time with me and I will see you next week.
Much love to you. I will see you later. Bye bye
