Get Out of the Rut - Episode # 13
Breaking Free: 3 Simple Steps to Escape the Rut
Welcome back to the podcast. I am excited to record this one today. I have been working quite a bit in my own business lately. A couple of years ago, I was working for so many different coaches. For a while, I had seven coaches that I worked at the same time. And that was amazing. Completely insane.
I would never do that again, but also so much fun. I got to meet so many people and just coach all day and night. Literally. Sometimes my coaching sessions would start at 4 30 in the morning and some evenings I wouldn't finish until 10. What was really, really, really fun. What I love the most. I can't imagine any other way of living this beautiful life.
But. I mean, I do have three little kids. I do have a house. I do have a husband. It got to a point where it was a little too much. So I had to make the decision to only work with one coach because I do love it. I love my clients so much, but since I was so focused on working for other coaches, I didn't have a really big practice.
I had a few clients. That we got to spend a lot of time on one on one and I absolutely love, but I felt like it was time for me to grow, go to that next level, really start something new that I had never done before. And that is what I did this year. This 2024 was the first time I really launched my own group program.
And it has been phenomenal. I'm enjoying creating a course with them. I'm enjoying the coaching, enjoying the transformation. And not only that, I'm really enjoying it. In a group setting, getting to see how each other act and react and change their mindset and having that aha moment that sometimes you don't see that progress until you are in a group container.
And that's what I've been seeing these last few weeks that we were working together. And it's just so much fun. If you're interested in working with me in a group setting, I will be launching that again soon. So stay tuned. That will come up again and you're going to love it. I'm sure my clients right now, they're having a lot of fun, a lot of transformation, a lot of cry.
What is a good sign? And also just so you know, sometimes like I had four clients who, They can come to any coaching calls. The coaching calls are done in the middle of the day, like at 11 in the morning on a Wednesday. So of course, some people wouldn't be able to do it, but they are still getting so much out of it.
Those clients, they're watching the replays. They are watching the videos. They are making transformations and by we keeping touch via email and they're making progress too. So if you don't have the time available to come live to a coaching call, don't let that stop you. I would love to still support you and help you make progress.
Towards your future self, really getting out of this rut and going towards the future self, one of the clients in a group session, she described her problem, her issue as being trapped in a maze with no way out. And I just resonated so much with that, that I wanted to talk to you guys about it today. This idea that your life, the way your life is right now, and remember, it's so perfect that you don't want to change anything.
But deep down when you see it, it feels like you're stuck in this maze where there's no way out. There's nothing you can do or say or be that will take you out of the rut. And another way that she described was chasing her tail. It's like the little dog chasing the tail and you're just going on and on and on in circles because you have that guilt and shame and then you feel, right, shame, fulfilling guilt.
And then you feel upset that you're feeling the shame. And then you're angry that you can believe you're still in this spot. And then I have everything. How can I be happy in the cycle that you get stuck on? And it's so difficult sometimes to get out. But today I will give you some. Steps that it might seem super, super simple, but I want you to take it anyways.
I want you to just hang in there, observe what I'm talking about here. Try to apply that in your own life because the simple steps to get you out of the rut will be transformational. I promise you, if you apply those things, it will help so much. I have told you before, I have everything that I could possibly want.
And I was very stuck in this rut. I still remember the day that I was just looking out of my window, and I saw this beautiful life that I had. Whenever I thought that I'd suffered with infertility for so many years, And now I even had the twins and the twins came naturally. It's a big surprise. I mean, that is the dream of everyone going through infertility.
That is one of their biggest dreams. Like, can you imagine if I had twins and I had it, having the awareness that I don't have anything else that I want or I need, why can't I just be happy? I get how difficult that that sensation is, and not just that sometimes my sound so big, even when I was building my business in the face where you're starting out you don't have any clients you just finished certification maybe you're not even certified yet, and you want to work towards the business.
And you feel like they stuck in the rut. I remember a coaching session when my coach asked me, what is in between you and where you are today and the goal that you have? What is in between that? What is the gap between where you are and what you have? And that was the point where I didn't have anything else to blame on.
It was only me. I was it. I was the gap. I was the obstacle to get me from where I was to my goal. And that awareness can be very painful. It was painful to me to know that. I had, again, everything. I had the technology that I needed. I had the knowledge how to use the technology or at least how to figure those things out.
I had a wonderful coach was really helping me and guiding me and strategizing with me to have my business built. I had a supportive husband who was able to support my family financially. So I had the time to really go for my dreams and my business. And still, I wasn't creating anything. That suffering is real and it's very hard to even articulate that.
It took me years to be able to articulate because it's so easy to fall into the trap of self blame. Fall into the trap of, it's my fault. I am just not good enough. And that's not it at all. Okay. That's what I really wanted to talk to you today. Another thing for you to remember is that this feeling of chasing your tail, it's exhausting.
And many times you think that we need this whole transformation to get out of the maze, right? This whole thing that needs to happen and it's not true. Just this simple, actionable ways that I will share with you today will really make a huge impact for you to just feel differently. Sometimes it's not even seeing things differently just yet, but it's the feeling that it's getting away from feeling so exhausted and defeat.
To really feel that confidence or at least to feel that it's moving forward, right? You're making some progress towards not even a goal, but just towards getting out of this rut. So the first thing I ask you to do, the first step I ask you to take, and this might seem so simple, but you might want to not even believe me, but remember this word, intentionality.
I want you to start making some small and intentional changes to your routine. So again, nothing big, nothing extraordinary, nothing like I start running a marathon. So that's my new goal. No, I just want you to make one small change. What helped me personally was to start journaling. I have always been obsessed with pens and journals and I always had a bunch, but I would never write on them because truthfully, they were too pretty.
I didn't want to destroy them with my handwriting, but that was the small tiny change that I started to make. That was really get in every single day. I would get thoughts out of my head and put it on paper and I really gave up on making it pretty or making it like a storytelling or making it so my future posterity would be able to use it.
Yeah. The only purpose that I had for this journal was to get thoughts out of my head and put on paper so I could examine it later. And by examining it later, it wasn't anything too deep. It was just for me to see it, right? Bring the unconscious to your consciousness. Just to feel like, wow, did I really believe that?
Wow. Is this really how I see myself? It was such an eye opening, this awareness experience that with time, that became one of the biggest changes that happened in my life. It started with just. Getting one of those hundreds of books that I have here in my house, just one little notebook and start writing, nothing special today, I do have a much better process that I use, but every now and then just the fact that if I feel stressed out to write those things down on paper can make a huge difference.
So pick one. one small thing that you can do to just kind of break your routine a little bit. It could be go get once a week, you'll go get coffee in a coffee shop or every now and then, when you are walking to work, take a different route, just change it up a little bit. Do one small thing different than what you do in your routine all the time.
And remember, it's just an intentional change. What you were telling your brain is that you are willing to make a change. You're willing to break a pattern. Okay. That's the only purpose of this exercise. And you will see that just doing things different gets you out of the autopilot. So that's all this is.
Okay. Second shift that I want you to start making to get out of the rut is to start focusing on gratitude. I know it sounds cheesy. I know, but it really works on that journaling process. What I would do was to get everything out of my head and then write three gratitudes, but it couldn't be the same.
Every single day had to be different. So the first month was pretty easy because I had so much to be grateful for. But after I felt like I wrote every single thing, what else? What else was I really grateful for? So that's where my brain really started to focus on gratitude. It really started to see something that I couldn't see before.
And not only that, but transform in my body, the sensations in my body towards gratitude. So when you get to a point, especially when you are stuck in this rut, And you are able to see it within the rut, things that you are grateful for, that just opens up to a new possibility. And that is the possibility of seeing things differently.
So if you're building your business and it feels like nothing is working, how can you see gratitude in it? What is it that you need to shift in your mindset for you to focus on gratitude? Maybe you're grateful for your computer, or maybe you're grateful for that one email that you're able to write. What is it that you're grateful for in your business, especially when you're stuck in it?
The same thing with your relationships, the same thing with your weight loss journey, whatever it is that you feel stuck on, how can you start focusing, like shift your focus to see more gratitude than the negative? Gratitude is one of those emotions that I feel like so overrated and underrated at the same time.
Everyone talks about gratitude, but not many people can actually feel the gratitude, especially now in November, right? We're doing all this Thanksgiving coming up pretty soon. I want you to learn the skill of changing your mindset to focus on gratitude, especially when you are stuck in this rut. I challenge you to do this.
The third step that I would offer you today to really start getting out of this rut, it's for you to notice how you can visualize your future self. What would that future version of you be like that you are not just yet? One thing that I always tell my clients is that you can only create to the edge of your imagination.
So if you can't even imagine a version of you who would be different in this situation, there's no way you can create that version. So just where you are right now, like even in this rut, right? Close your eyes for a little bit and just imagine what would happen a year from now. If you can only create to the edge of your imagination, I want you to really pay attention.
What is that version of you that wouldn't be stuck in a rut anymore? What would she be doing if she has everything that you have? She has the same life, but she's not stuck. What would be different and really close your eyes and visualize that, visualize how that version of you would be dealing with the issues that you see today.
And then I would love for you to just pick one step, one action that you can do today that aligns with that vision. Sometimes it can be something like she wouldn't yell. Okay. Like my future version. She's not a yeller. I am a yeller today. My future version will not be a yeller. So every now and then when I feel stuck in a rut.
And I yell, I can recognize that that is my present self, that's who I am today, because my self image, it's a woman who yells. So then, I just close my eyes for a second, and I get to imagine, what would it be like to have this same situation and not yell? How would she deal with this? What would she be thinking?
Right. That always blows my mind that some people can be very angry and not yell. Because remember the anger is not a problem. Anger is just an emotion. But when you react from it and you yell and you believe that that is a problem, there are people out there. So you see, you're opening up to possibilities.
You're opening yourself up to possibilities. There are people out there who will not yell. What would they be thinking? What would be the situation that they have in their lives that they decide not to yell as a coping mechanism to their anger? That's how you start to really not only visualize your future self, but really bringing that version close to you today.
I want you to connect with your future self. Connect with just a little bit, one tiny step. How would your life be different if you are not stuck in this rut? And what can you do today to move towards that, just slightly? Just to recap these three steps that I gave to you. First of all, start with a small change.
Just make a little tiny change in your routine. Maybe it's journaling. Maybe it's going out for coffee every now and then. Maybe it's spending some time at the library, reading something that you're not used to reading. Maybe it's going to a movie by herself. What is that one tiny thing that you can do today?
that can get you out of this rut, that can change your routine a little bit. The second point was for you to just focus a little bit more on gratitude. How can you shift your focus a little bit to start seeing things with these gratitude lenses? Not only to see the gratitude, but to really feel in your body.
Like, allow the sensation in your body of gratitude to be there and feel it. Know what that feels like to you. And of course, the last one, it's for you to visualize your future self and just take that one little step. Doing these three things will for sure at least start getting you out of the rut.
Changing the cycle, right? That chasing your tail non stop, move towards something else so quickly. And over time, as you keep on doing this work, you will see a big change for you. So I would love to hear from you. Which one of those three steps resonated the most with you? Is it maybe making a tiny change in your schedule or in your routine, or it's starting a gratitude practice, or maybe you got to visualize your future self a little bit and just, See a little bit, how does that change?
I would love to hear from you on Instagram, DM me or comment. I would love to hear what you thought of these tips that I just shared with you today. And remember, just pick one, one thing that can get you unstuck. And remember, you do not need to do all of those things at the same time to feel better. We are not looking for perfectionism.
We are not looking for you to just add more to do list to your life. We're just really working towards creating a momentum to start the process of transformation. Okay, just changing little things in your routine so you can start your body, your brain can start to see that you're willing to do something different.
And that is how you get out of the rut. Thank you so much for bearing with my voice. I know it's so crackling, but I really, really wanted to share this podcast with you today. I cannot wait to hear from you and I will see you next week. Bye bye.
