Get Out of the Rut - Episode # 20
The Art of Future Self vs. The Law of Attraction:
Okay, guys, last week we talked about the science of future self, and today I wanted to talk a little bit about something that we typically get confused with when I start teaching the future self work. If you're doing this self development or self help work in a while, you probably came across law of attraction.
And, uh, I have seen so many times, and I'm guilty of trying to manifest things, right? My parents, they used to be very, a big fan of The Secret, right? That book, The Secret. And as I got involved with this personal development world, Of course, I came across that book again, and I read, and I was obsessed with this, and I was listening to all the podcasts and getting all the courses about it, and just getting super involved with trying to manifest the best life ever.
And what I noticed, the frustration was coming in when I wasn't manifesting anything. Right, so I created vision boards, I would visualize the perfect life, I would repeat affirmations all the time, and yet nothing changed. And I know, most likely, you have been there too, if you're not there right now, right?
You are not alone. And a lot of people get confused with the future self work, that is the work that I do with my clients, with the law of attraction. So, I wanted to be very clear. I do not teach law of attraction whatsoever. I do believe in many levels of the law of attraction, and I think in many ways it does um, get really close to the work that we do here together.
But I wanted to talk to you today about the difference between the future self work and the law of attraction. So, Why a lot of times we get very stuck and very confused when we're too much focused on the Law of Attraction without thinking of the future self work and the identity work and the background of everything.
So today I wanted to break down a few things for you. First of all is that the key difference between the Law of Attraction in the self work, in the future self work, and why the identity change and not the wishful thinking is the actual key for the transformations. If you haven't listened to the podcast last week, I highly recommend, but we've talked about the science of the future self, but today I wanted to get a little bit deeper on the actual science that backs the future self work and why this is such a game changer.
But most importantly, how you can start actively creating your future today. I have worked with many women who thought that they just needed to think positively and then their, you know, dreams would show up. Here's the thing, real transformation does not come that way. You cannot expect to have lived a life in such a way for 40, 50 years.
And then all of a sudden you start to imagine something different and you just, you know, hope that things will change and the universe will send it to you. That's. That's not how it works. Because of the science side of it, right? Like your narrow pathways have been formed in such a way. And I wanted to show you how the future self work, it's really about becoming and not just hoping that something would change.
So let's start it. Here's the thing. The law of attraction has been around forever. You hear about this all the time, everywhere. It's based on the idea that like attracts like, and that you can think positive thoughts, right? It's the idea that you bring positive experiences in your life.
If you think positive thoughts, you bring positive experiences, right? Have you heard the think it, feel it, receive it, right? That's the idea, but it sounds great. But here's the problem. It assumes that your Thoughts alone can create a reality. And I know, I have seen it, I have read books, where they really promise you that that's the case.
If you think hard enough, you will that thought, right that idea will become a reality. But the truth is, thinking about your dream job will not make it land in your lap. Now, when you start thinking about that, and you go out there to look for the job, Because you start to think differently, like you're thinking of the possibility of having that dream job, your eyes will be able to filter, right, a little bit better and you'll be able to see that job the way you want it.
That's not law of attraction. You still need to get out there and do something. You need to move a little bit. Another thing with the law of attraction is that it can lead to very passive waiting. I have seen so many people that they're just hoping for a change, but they don't really do anything differently, right?
It's that doing the action that I really wanted to point out today. I, I'm waiting for the universe to give me this beautiful business because I really think positive towards that. It won't give it to you or having the best body or the best relationships, right? Another thing that it does is that it creates the shame when things don't work out.
And I have seen even sometimes coaches who literally coach on love attraction and, uh, They are super struggling on their, you know, to build their own business, because let's be real, building the business is kind of hard sometimes, but then you have that layer of shame. It's like, oh my gosh, why can't I do this?
I'm doing all of those things. I teach my clients how to be successful through imagining, right? manifesting things in their lives. And yes, they are not successful. And that is the whole key of the identity shift that the law of attraction does not teach you. A while back, right in the beginning of my career, I had this client and she was so deep on law of attraction, right?
She would literally write her dreams every single day. She had many vision boards. She would spend hours Like hours visualizing the future success. And then when she came to work with me, she was like, well, I've been doing all of the things the law of attraction asks me to do. And she was so frustrated, not just because the attraction wasn't working, but frustrated because she just didn't know how to build her business.
When we started working together, she didn't realize that while, you know, visualizing, having the goal and having the vivid vision for your goals, It is absolutely the first step, but unless you take action, you would be just waiting forever. You really need to actively create that path that you wanted to take.
Now there's a whole other side of this where I really do believe we need to allow things to come to you too and allow the growth to come and allow the Opportunities to come to your life. Because a lot of times we shut that down right away. But with the Law of Attraction, that's the only thing we're doing.
We're waiting for the opportunities to come, and then a lot of times, we don't even see the opportunities because we're not looking at, That, right, we see opportunities when you're taking action, and that's where things can get very messy. Once she shift her focus to becoming her future self, then she was making decisions, she was setting goals, she was taking consistent actions and steps, and then her life started to change.
And I will never forget the sessions because even though visualizing. Your life, your dream, the future you want is the first step. Visualization without actions is just a dream. You don't really create anything. In the future self work, it's literally about embodying your future, not just hoping that this will eventually happen.
So, let me talk to you a little bit again about the science of the future self work, right? Why does that work? Like, how does self work, like, can you almost guarantee your success when you're coaching yourself with the future self? Because instead of just thinking, I want to be successful, the future self work asks, okay, who is that person that I'm becoming?
How does she feel? How does she think? How does she act differently than what I do today? Those questions get you thinking. Thinking differently and acting, right, because you're thinking differently, you feel differently, and then you act differently. Another question that I, the future self work asks is, what are these small shifts I can start making right now to step into that version of me?
So you see how the future self works, very focused on action, is action oriented, while the law of attraction, it's sit back and passive, right? Let me wait for things to come to me. Here's the best part about the future self work is that it is backed by science, and let me tell you some of the science that backs up this work.
First of all, it's the neuroscience of identity. Your brain does not know the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined. I always joke with my clients how sometimes I can have a full fight with my husband, the whole day fighting badly, and then he comes home from work and he's like, hi honey, how are you?
And I'm Live it, right? I'm so mad at him. He has no idea that he was in that fight with me the whole day. I had that all by myself, right? My imagination, my vivid imagination, had that whole fight on my own. And I'm sure you have something similar to that too, where you had the whole argument and the other person have never participated whatsoever.
That's how you know. And these are the types of examples I like to use because If you can imagine such a fight that it actually makes you actively, you know, anger at your partner, you can also do that to imagine like your successful self and then act as such, right? Act as you're very successful because you actually believe that you are that successful.
When you consistently visualize your future self, not as a wish, but the identity, you create new narrow pathways that makes your future possible. Another science that backs up the future self work is the cognitive psychology. Your brain filters your reality based on what it expects. If you believe that you're not capable of something, your brain will find ways to prove, you find the evidence to prove that belief.
True. When you see yourself as someone who's already the future self version of you, you start aligning the actions that you take with that belief that, yes, I am already that person. That's the be, do, and have model that we use a lot when we're doing the future self work. Most people believe that they need to have success before they can be successful, right?
Or I need to have the healthy body before I can be healthy. But the future self work flips that around. It's actually the be that person first. I need to be the identity of a person who is very healthy because that person who is healthy can actually take the actions of the healthier person would do.
And when you are consistently taking those actions, right? Consistently eating healthier, then you have the results. But you see, if you're just, Believing yourself that I am an overweight person, I'm an unhealthy person, and then you're trying to eat a salad, how much longer can you take that? You can't. But when you shift the identity as, no, I actually can't see myself as a very healthy person.
What would a healthy person eat, right? That's the difference. And then the result of it just comes naturally. And One thing that always comes to my mind when people will say things like, oh, I just wanted to, you know, be healthier or I want to lose some weight, but they actually don't. They want to eat their chips and salsa and Cheetos and drink their beer, right?
And they tell themselves that they want to be very skinny. It's like, no, for you to be really skinny, you will want to eat the types of food that can sustain that thinner body, right? Or if you want to create your business, and you're like, oh, but I don't want to post on social media. I don't want to do marketing.
I don't want to create a website. I don't want to know my niche. I don't want to do anything in my business, but I do want to have a business. It's like, no, you do not. So stop lying to you. That's where a lot of times, too, the law of attraction comes in because they're just waiting for something. The truth is they don't want to have that, right?
They want to stay where they are. Because when you actually It starts to tell yourself the truth and it's like, oh no, I do want to have the business or I do want to have the body. The journey, when you're using the future self work, becomes so enjoyable because you're seeing the results, you're seeing the changes, you're seeing the identity shift within yourself and then the process becomes so much more enjoyable.
This is how the identity. Change matters so much, where the biggest difference that I see between the future self work and the law of attraction is that one focuses on changing your identity, while the other one focuses on only changing your thoughts. The law of attraction says, if you think positively, Your reality will change, but the future self work actually says, if you change your identity, your thoughts, your actions, then the reality will change.
You see, the key here is the identity because the identity drives everything that you do. If you see yourself as someone who struggles with confidence, you will most likely act like someone who lacks confidence, because that's how you see yourself. If you see yourself as someone who takes actions, even when you're scared, you start becoming that person, right?
That brave person who takes the actions. That's, it all starts with your thinking. James Clear, he talks in his book, The Atomic Habits. He says this quote that I really like, and I highlighted a few times when I was reading the book. It says, you do not rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your systems.
And here's the thing you can have the biggest goals that you want, but your identity today cannot go take that goal. Right? It falls to the level of your systems. And what is the system? The systems are the things that you do. It means that it's not what you want. It's what you're constantly doing.
The fastest way to change your life is to change the identity first. And that's the work that we do together inside of. My programs. Right. So here's the question. How do you start making this shift? Anyways, the very first thing I would invite you to do is to meet with your future self. Now with my clients, I tend to take them in this future self visualization where they really can see it.
But the key for this, and I can link the blog on the show notes for this episode. But the first thing that you do is to meet your future self, right? Even if you take five minutes today to write about that future self and very specific things like how does she dress, how does she speak, how does she walk, like really things like this.
But then ask the question, how does she make decisions? Like my future self, she, the future self that today I'm working towards, she makes decisions really quickly. She's not afraid of the decisions because the Thais today, sometimes it takes three or four months to make them. Oh my gosh, there's a couple of decisions.
That I need to take, that's been a couple of years, and I'm still, right, I have that decision made in my mind, but I haven't actually done that. My future self doesn't have that. She takes, you know, she makes a decision and goes for it. She's not afraid of the consequences. She knows she can deal with any consequences that comes her way.
That's my version of future self, right? Another question that you can ask is, What does she prioritize? And the thing is, we have the impression what society has told us, right? We need to prioritize family and health. And the truth is, you get to decide. You get to decide if that is the priority you wanted to have right now.
You know, if you just go from society's like, you need to prioritize your religion, maybe you don't. Can you make that decision? What do you think she's prioritizing right now? And, you know, many times it's not the same thing that you prioritize. How does she show up in her life? That's another great question for you to ask.
How does she show up in her relationships? Okay, so this is the first thing I would ask you to do, and just journal about this. It does not have to take a long time, but as you journal or think about it, I say that sometimes you journal in the bathroom when you're taking a shower, right, you can just think through instead of thinking of the fight that you didn't have with your spouse, think about the future self.
What is it that she do? And as you are doing this, you create the better idea, where you, you allow the unknown, the uncomfortable to become more familiar. So then it's not as difficult for you to go for it, right, to take the actions of that person. Another step I would invite you to do is to act as if now.
Okay, this is not fake it until you make it. I despise when people tell me fake it until you make it. I despise that. That is not what I'm saying. But if you can choose one small thing to start doing today that aligns with your future self, it's not fake it until you make it, but it is acting as if you already had that.
Even if it's like 10 minutes a day, just something that you can do and you can act as if you're already that person today. What you are doing here is that you are actually becoming that person, like that future, today. And if you wanted to be an early riser, right, if you wanted to start waking up at five in the morning, maybe instead of trying to go all the way to five, because that would be a goal, I want you to start being that person who can wake up earlier.
And what that is, is 10 minutes earlier. Just a little bit, right? Maybe your alarm goes off and you get out of the bed right away. Those are things they use, like, can I become the person who feels comfortable waking up a little bit earlier? Another thing that I see a lot, it's the eating habits, right? Can you start making One change to your eating habits to be a little bit healthier that matches with that person you want it to be.
Even if, okay, just for breakfast, I will eat breakfast as my future self, right? So I will have, I don't know, eggs and then, I don't know, an avocado toast. Okay, if that's what your future self eats, can you do that from now on for a little bit? One day every week. Little things like this, and you start to feel like your future self.
You allow that, the sensation to start changing how you see yourself to become even more of that person. Uh, another example that I see, and I actually had a client doing this and it was very interesting, the amount of. She was able to get it. The one thing that she decided to do as her future self was she speak up in a meeting.
She was, you know, she wanted to be more confident and she really wanted to work towards that confidence. And she was like, okay, in that one meeting, not always, not forever, but in the one meeting she experimented in speaking up in that meeting and she got to feel the sensations of, oh wow, if I were, so maybe she's not yet, remember she's acting as if, but if I were very confident to speak in every single meeting, this is how I would be feeling.
Okay, that's the idea. If you're building your business, can you post on social media one time? Can you go live on Instagram one time, right? And you allow yourself to feel the sensation as if you were the future self. Another exercise that I would offer you, and this is something that we do inside of the programs all the time, is to rewire your thoughts.
Next time you have that old belief, right, that old belief thought pop up in your mind. My old belief, it was that I'm such a loser. And every now and then, right, I listen, I hear that one again coming up, and then I can catch it and really pause and ask myself, I was like, huh, is this belief coming from my past self or my future self?
Right? And then you get to choose, right? Of course, you want to choose the future self perspective, but it's something we all have that favorite negative thought that we call ourself, the inner critic, right? It's almost how your inner critic talks to you. And mine was, you're such a loser. And it wasn't just, you're a loser.
It was such a loser. And when I hear that now, I can stop and like, oh, look. That is the old self, the past self, coming and talking to me this way that is so interesting, right? What would my future self say instead in this same situation? And that's why it's important for us to even get to know the inner critic a little bit.
I see a lot of people trying to suppress the inner critic and think that that is just bad, but you can learn so much from it. And this is one of the things we can learn. Okay, so here's what I really would love for you to remember. The law of attraction makes you hope for a change, but the future self work makes you become that change.
Is the difference between the wishful thinking and the deliberate identity creation?
So let me ask you this. What is the one small action you can take today that aligns with your future self? Now, I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to go to my Instagram, send me a DM, and really tell me, like, what is the one thing that you can do right now that would align with the future self?
What is that one idea that you have that your future self would do, and you are not doing right now, and you know you could do it? Just that one. step that you can take, you will start seeing and noticing in your body the difference that comes from how you see yourself and the identity shift that you can have for even one small action.
Again, I would love to hear from you. Head over to Instagram, leave me a DM or a comment on the post there. I would love to keep this conversation going with you. If you found this helpful, Please leave me a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, whatever you listen to this podcast. I would love to see more reviews from you and really get to know what you're thinking about the podcast.
Okay. I love you, my friends, and I will see you next week. Bye bye.
